May 30
Ibukun
My problem with Ibukun started when I was made class captain. He made it clear to everyone who cared to listen that I didn’t deserve to be captain and my being captain was because the class teacher liked me. He was probably right. He should have been captain. He was better qualified; captain of his class from pry 1 to 5 and having consistently topped his class all those years, he surely did deserve it.He probably would have been captain if the school authorities hadn’t decide to juggle things around a little bit. In those days, at least in my school, if you started from Primary 1A, you were moved to Primary 2A if you got promoted and that meant that you knew you were going to end up in Primary 6A , ceteris paribus. Well, at the end of our Primary 5 session, ceteris ceased being paribus. The school authorities changed the status quo and decided to put us in classes based on our performances overall, thus, the student who was 1st overall was placed in Class 6A, the 2nd  in 6B till the lot of us were divided into all the six classes, A to F. Suffice to say that we all ended up in different classes with different people and we had to learn to manage the resultant shifts in classroom dynamics and their accompanying dysfunctions.
I ended up in Primary 6B alongside Ibukun and thirty something odd students. I reckon the reason the teacher made me class captain was because I came second overall and was the first student in her class. That singular decision split the class into two camps, one for me and the other for Ibukun. The latter consisted of Ibukun’s former classmates and others sympathetic to his ‘plight’; those who couldn’t understand why someone who had never topped his class and had never been captain before could be made class captain.
They were probably right. I wouldn’t have made me class captain if I was my class teacher. I had never been first in my school life. The closest I got to the top tier was when I came 2nd in third term Primary 4. Before then, I had always moved between the 6th and 10th positions, which I felt was OK until my Mum, Iya Segun, thought otherwise and together with my class teacher then, Mr Avuru, moved me away from the back row, where I had established myself amongst the class noisemakers, to the front row where he could monitor me more closely, in the hope that I would focus more on my studies, listen in class and perform better in my exams.
It paid off.
After that term, I became more serious and started believing I could actually do much better with my school work. That confidence, coupled with a lot of help from my Mum and lesson teachers culminated in my finishing 2nd overall in Primary 5, next to Peter Ago, the guy who came first in my class.
I still wasn’t first. But finishing 2nd overall changed things for me. It got me into the school quiz team, a circle I had never dreamt of being part of. A few cuties in school also started noticing me and that was great but that was as far as it got.
Being the captain of Class 6B was not an easy feat. Ibukun and his crew made life somewhat difficult for me; always looking for opportunities to make me look bad and because I didn’t want to upset anyone and further add to the tension in the class, I let things slide even when it was obvious that they were doing everything to undermine my authority.
The fact that I came 1st during the first term exams only served to increase the level of entropy in the class. Ibukun, for the first time in his school life, was not 1st. He didn’t take it very well. The relationship between the two of us disintegrated further and it was clear to everyone one in the class that a physical confrontation was imminent. Things got to a head one day when I wrote Ibukun’s name, and justifiably so, on the list of noise makers while our class teacher was attending a Staff meeting. The teacher came back and meted out due punishment to the ‘offenders’ and for Ibukun, that was the last straw.
During lunch break, Ibukun tried all he could to get into a fight with me but I paid him no mind. He pushed and shoved me around but I didn’t budge, insisting that there was no way I was going to bring myself down to his level and get into a fight with him in school.
What level? Hmm!
Truth be told, I was scared shitless. Ibukun had been known to beat up a number of boys in school and I wasn’t about to become another statistic. More so, I knew if Ibukun beat me, the news would spread through the school in the shortest possible time and my reputation, which was just going up, was going to be in ruins.
Thus, I did all I could not to succumb to Ibukun’s taunting, but as you know, in those days the decision to get into fights was not entirely yours, so to speak. There was me, Ibukun, who was ready to roll the punches and our multitude of promoters. Many a fight wouldn’t have been fought if not for the work of promoters. They repeated everything your would-be opponent said to you again, as if you didn’t hear him in the first place, with salt and pepper added of course, to make it pinch a lot more than it would have ordinarily.
Eventually, I agreed to sort things out with Ibukun, man to man, after school. My decision to fight was not predicated on any self delusional thinking that I might be victorious but that i could save some face by fighting and avoid being labelled a coward. I thought it was better to be beaten than be called a chicken all my life, well, school life.
The die was cast. The news was out. Blackjamesbond was fighting Ibukun at Rowe Park later that afternoon. That was the news in the class. Concentrating in class after that decision was difficult. While I appeared all cool on the outside, I was petrified on the inside. I said a few prayers before close of school but none of them was answered. My father didn’t close early and didn’t come to pick me at school, my Mum didn’t show up and Ibukun didn’t come down with a severe case of diarrhoea.
The distance between the school and Rowe Park was about a mile, my green mile, as I was sure the guy was going to kill me out there but still I hoped that someone would have the good sense of separating us and stop the fight before I am finished off. But knowing the rules by which Rowe Park fights were officiated, I knew I was in for a good hiding. No one stopped a fight in Rowe Park until blood was drawn, sand eaten and one of the fighters, the victor, was seated on the other, the beaten, asking all the questions and getting all the proper answers. Rowe Park was ‘oju olomo o’to’ [Paraphrased: Rowe Park was PG 18].
 When we got to Rowe Park, the promoters quickly looked for a remote part of the park where we could fight without being spotted by the officials and after they had found the perfect spot, a circle was immediately formed around us and the fight began.
As expected, Ibukun was the more confident one and he came out stinging. In my mind, I knew there was no way I was going to beat him boxing, so I decided I was just going to get really close to him and just hold him down. That way I was sure I could prevent him from doing any serious damage and hope that someone would separate us if I held onto him long enough.
Ibukun threw a few punches but only one landed but it wasn’t strong enough to cause any serious damage but if the noise all around us was anything to go by, a passer-by would have thought someone was getting killed. Ibukun, spurred on by all the noise came out punching again but albeit recklessly. Before he could retreat and plan another round of attack, I ducked underneath his outstretched arms and put my arms all around him. Then I made a startling discovery. Ibukun was very light, almost paper weight! I knew if I could lift him and slam him to the ground, I could win the fight.
So, with my arms around him, I changed my position, crouched a little and tried to lift him up. Not someone to be easily outdone, he quickly put one of his legs between mine and threw the other backwards to support his resistance but he was too late. I had him where I wanted him and before he could offer a more spirited resistance, I had lifted him up and slammed him to the ground.
Being captain became a lot easier after that fight. I asked all the questions and got all the right answers.
I still don’t eat sand.
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Go Blacky! lol!
4 real u don’t eat sand (I think now they say, chop dust).
Am sure u were relieved when u realized IBK was paper weight. lol.
Ur childhood must have been full of fun.
Howz d family?
Nice Post…Reminded me of my days in high school…
…
I like the way you ended it…’Being captain became a lot easier after that fight. I asked all the questions and got all the right answers.
I still don’t eat sand
Keep it up Baba.
A shot of martini for you… shaken, not stirred of course.
As usual, story telling is your forte. Almost felt as if I was there. Reminded me of some fights in school too. You just had to share ‘Ibukun’ with us:D Any more stories on Ibukun? I’d get Ore to read it cos he can relate to the boys fight thing. They still have fights after school, u know. Some things never change, eh.
lol
nice to know the guy got a beat down…………….
When is the collection of short stories coming out, 007?
You do a good job on these your mini biographies
Nice post. Definitely reminded me of a childhood episode where I finally decided to take a chance and stand up to a guy who had be terrorising me in a “Ani o ma payon leni se” (You’re going to have to kill me today) kinda way. only to find out I could kick his a$$. I spent the rest of the day smiling to myself…
buuhahahahahahaha…I said a few prayers before close of school but none of them was answered.lol!!!
Thank God,u won the fight,if not ehh ur name for change,courtesy of ur classmates ofcourse!!!
njoy ur w’end
Gunners4life no shaking!!!!!! lol!!!
N as usual Well-penned
keep on rocking egbon
norrin do u!!
Gunners4life no shaking!!!!!! lol!!!
Oya… tell me about the time ur front tooth tasted concrete LOL… but i loved the story… it made me relive my days as class captain in secondary school… Every time i entered the class i say
“Today is another day. Pray it’s a good one for you” and they knew I meant it too…
Those were the days…
Another thing… I bow for you. My Yoruba is deep…deep to the extend that my parents call me for interpretation (Thanks grandma – she spoke in proverbs) But i can’t seem to interpret some stuff in English
“oju olomo o’to’ ” is an example.. I like ur interpretation…
LOL @ ekoakete ““Ani o ma payon leni se”
Wait o! Was that the Ibukun at first? I hope so.
LOL @ ‘Promoters’. Reminds me of my school days too. There was even a sort of ‘prayer song’, before every fight back then in Yoruba
Ko ni da fun iya Maja
Ko ni da fun iya Laja
O ti da fun awa Promoter.
Curses on the mother of whoever stops this fight
Curses on the mother of whoever separates the fighters
We, the Promoters are already blessed.
Of course, I was usually a Promoter. It was easier than getting beat up every time.
OK…which Ibukun is this?
Oluwadee…thank God Ibukun was paperweight o…ko ba ma funny rara? Family dey dear, tnx. E ku ipale mo o.
Kunta…the martini was good. Thnks for dropping by.
Naijalines…my sis, some things truly never change. As long as the earth remains, there will be bullies and the ‘bullied’ in schools. God help our children o.
Ibiluv…no be small thing o… Olorun gbogo fole.
Tobenna…who go buy am? lol…thanks for the compliments!
Eko…i know that feeling…top of the world smile.
Lg…lovely weekend to you too my Sis. I hope Arsene Wenger buys new players for you guys o. If not, no trophy for u gys next season o.
Allied…i am humbled
NIMMO! Good to have u back my brother. Missed u much. Please update quickly…u fans are waiting. Check out SSD’s place…u will be intriqued.
Yeh i want to know which ibukun it is too, LMAO!
Nicely told as usual, lol @ ‘oju olomo o to’
For a second, i thot u were gonna end up on the floor when you tried to lift Ibukun! Glad u won the fight.
Hw’s the family? Hpe u r gud!
Haaaa, i knew you were strong that was why i chose you as my blog brother!
Yippeeeee, dada mi o le ja but o ni strong blackjamesbond for support!
i am proud of you !
with you as behind me,ceteris must always be paribus oh!
*with you behind me*
Pele Omo Iya Segun, Well done for winning Ibukun. This story reminded me of a boy I defeated when I was in ile-keu (arabic sch). Then I was in pry 5 or so. He was making so much noise about beating the hell out of me.
When we got to the fightig ground I charged by kuku kolese-ing (grabbed his legs) and yakata he was on the floor. Come and see signing and dancing amongst my friends. A female don defeat a male oooooooo blah blah. I told hubby this story not long ago, he laughed his heart out (lmao)
this reminded me of when I came second overall in school and one of my friends was really mad at me-hater! i refused to fight her..and i was class captain for most of my stay in the school. good story telling!
Great story…love it when the underdog wins. Boys and fights…i’ll never understand. Though i take that back, i was in at a “carribean night” at an NY club recently and was appalled to witness 3 different girl fights (hair-pulling, scratching, “let me tie my wrapper”-level)…needless to say, i am permanently scarred!
“I wouldn’t have made me class captain if I was my class teacher.” (lol)
Eating sand is very…delicious. Especially when its wet. hahahahahahahah
“ceteris paribus. Well, at the end of our Primary 5 session, ceteris ceased being paribus” that was funny,
nicely told
Great! Nice story. The last line was perfect. Got your text, ‘fokoko’
Hope you understand?
lolllll…hahaha nice one! i wonder if u r still in contact wit ibukun??
This is so unfair! I came here looking for an update only to come back less than 24 hours later and so many people don chance me finish! na wetin!
That being said, who do you think you are slamming Ibukun into the sand? Abi you be WWF champion? lol!
I’m glad you still don’t eat sand, my brotha! lol!
And isn’t it great to hear from NIMMO again? Finding NIMMO worked!
Ana mi, you were a naughty child!
my love to sexy eyes(im sure some people are jealous of this our love…lol)
Have a nice week!!
I cant believe my heart was pounding fast as i was reading this and I must have jumped a few lines just to quickly get to the end. Such a relief. Dont know what the anticipation is for but it may have something to do with the fact that I too became rather unpopular when I beat the favorite gurl to be class captain in SS3. Primary and secondary school life was really tedious but fun. The fears we had those days were petty compared to now but then we thought the world would end. Glory to God.
nice template. i remember them days, i was class captain in primary 6, a proud moment in my life
lol… i always came 2nd or 1st overall.. everythn all died in high school and college..kaiiii
wish i could be as smart as that again
nice blog..1st time here..adding yu on my fav bloglist
O dear! I just love you…too much. Hope Madam ain’t reading o! I dey joke o. (Just in case)Lol
I love the way you write. I felt like I was there, with you in primary school.
I just love you. Have I already said that?
Take care.
Damn… you must have had mad fun when you were young (or younger) lol
dats d way its done back in the day. boys settling beef with a good portion of sand to the mouth. good thing you were able to bluetooth the guy if not..i thank God you did. nice post.
winner o, o winner
winner o, o winner
dudu bond don win o winner
Nicely told story. It progressed from you telling us about your rise as baby Einstein
“increase the level of entropy in the class”
and how you soar through this to become Gladiator!
I can picture you standing over him right hand striking your breast as you roar “Strength and Honor” and the Rowe Park crowds take up the chant “Maximus! Maximus!”
Hahahahaha. ABJB, you no go kill me with laughter o! LOL. Hashahahaha. I guess God answered your prayers - just not the way you had intended. But he answered it in a better way. If He had let your dad pick you up, you woulda been branded a coward. If he had fallen ill, the fight woulda been moved to another date. He who fights & runs away lives to fight another day. So by fighting…AND WINNING…you made your point.
You go boy!!
nothing do you my guy im good as you bluetooth the guy. its weird how we used to stamp our victory by feeding our victims with a good portion of sand to the mouth (not like they didnt deserve it anyways!)
Ha Ha Ha Ha! Chei those Primary days. And that segregation from A to F ehn..na so all the FFFF go just full 6F..everybody in the class na serious dodoyo. Who dey even come first in that class sef? LMAO…
So you owned a Negro ehn! That’s what I’m talking ’bout.
…great story and very well told…i love how you always prevail!!…
Crouching James Bond, Hidden Warrior!
Lol! What a fight! I remember those in elementary school… Behind the painting room was our own…
Too funny!
Lmao…reminds me of some fights I had in school..yes I fought,No, not over grades…Yes, I was the trouble maker….hmmmmm you have spurred me back into blogging, just got my mojo back….
Lmao @ the first commenter…is that the Ibukun of the green mile fight?
you’ve taken me back to those days when we spent the entire term thinking about that report card. Our ‘positions’ could determine how great or not so great our holidays were…how time flies….wow
The line about how ceteris stopped being paribus was very witty. *LOVES IT
lol…I was a promoter…kai! it would have been so funny see this…
poor ibukun…he wanted to sting like a bee but when he faced the tiger in your hidden crouch it ended up being his green mile… lmao
don’t teach your son to fight o! but if you do make sure you show him ‘the opponent eat sand’ technique!
Wow it seems primary/secondary school back home was full of adventures and fun sans the fighting. Thank God you won sha.
my good man, shay u dey. how bodi now? just feeling ur flow man mi. whatever happned to richard and veronica abi dat one story don end?
Just reading your post. Very funny. So where’s Ibukun now?
Ol” boy, haba. You never update? na wetin..e no good oh!
oh ma goodness!!!!!!!!!!! LIST OF NOISE MAKERS..HAAHHHAH MEMORIES MENNNNN..MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I WAS CLASS CAPTAIN TOO…..AHHHHHH THE POWER…I GUESS THATS D CLOSEST I’LL EVER GET TO SECURING A PRESIDENCY POST BUT HECK…THE MRMORY OF MY REIGN IS ENUFF TO LAST MY LOFE TIME!!!!!!!!!LOLOLOL..AHHHH U WON BY CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD MADE A WAY FOR YOU OOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!LUCKY CHIPMONK U WERE!!!!!!!!!HEHE
P.S: XOXO
P.P.S: black james bond can i be black ms.berry?????/pweety pwesssh!!!
Inlaw mi, how now? Shey wa pa? How is my baby?
you paid him no mind then gave him grass to chew…in primary school, we were shared into classes as per who sabi book pass, most of the smart people got into A & B, then later C too…at least you made him understand that ceteris was no longer paribus
just checking up on u, hope all is well?
howz d family?
chineke!!so those in 6f would have been the olodos..me i dont like that system o
i know Rowe Park its in yaba!!!lol!!so you beat ibukun!!
Honestly, I was really getting tensed and scared for you cos I thought you were going to receive the beating of your life! Such a twist of fate! I am happy you made your mark!
I still think teachers should do more than sit in their staff rooms thinking all is well. Just imagine if there had been a casuality at th site of the fight?
You get mind sha o! If I were in your shoes, trust me to be home before the closing bell rings! Lol!
Nice blog
Ermmm Update….
Oh, don’t do this to me. I need an update.
btw, for those of us that didnt do Pry6, we saw those in 6 as olodos…no offence meant…i jus wan find your trouble
Yes o anyone who did pry 6 is an olodo, lol! And Mister, you get query to answer o. 2 times I have posted on my blog and I never see ya face for there. Abi you no know about legend of di pata, or na threesome you dey fear. Don’t let me catch you boycotting my blog o. You and that Mr Tobenna.
How you dey
Happy father’s day
http://weirdbabe.blogspot.com/
Oga James Bond o! Update…
…i’m late…but i specialize in that anyway…happy belated father’s day!!!…i hope it was blessed…
…come and update!!!…
i started reading this post last week. work & life wahalas prevented me 4rm finishing it. now, there’s another long post 2 read on top of it, so i don abandon dis one. sorry our pple dey talk say, wen new wife come, old wife is forgotten.
Mehn…u really enjoyed ur childhood eh. very fuuny. Nice one
Uncle se e ti gba arodan de ni?
You have been gone for 13days and some hours.
LOOOL! kai…bringin it all back now…all the wahala that names of noisemakers list brought..friendships that it made and broke, the lesons in diplomacy if forces you to learn…and they kept on makin me “class prefect”..chai, primary five came, see me begging that they should leave me the hell alone and give it to someone more ameboish
lol, funny after school special post. I’m over extended with adding new blogs to my google reader, but how can I not add yours??
This is hilarious to say the least, a great write-up and pleased to know you lived to tell the story!!!