Jun 30
The Spy Who Loved Me
My brother and I used to play a deadly game while growing up. I am sure some of you will remember that game. I still can’t understand why we indulged in it at all because it was quite dangerous but as with most of the things young people did, I guess I may never fully understand. Perhaps it was the risk involved that gave us the kicks. Who knows? Maybe we thought we could always get away with it without getting hurt or caught. And we almost always escaped being caught and the few times we were hurt we accepted our fate but that never prevented us from participating in other dangerous endeavors. I guess you could call it ‘growing up’. Yeah, we were growing up.
‘Growing up’ came with its scars though, most I can share and show freely; a few too embarrassing to divulge except on the pages of a book or in a blog like this one. As I said at the beginning, my brother and I used to play a very deadly game. It involved holding up the sharp end of a pencil or a pen on the other person’s seat and withdrawing it just before the unsuspecting person sat down but ensuring that the person knew what your intentions were so they would appreciate that they had just escaped a great danger. How sick? Which sick mind invented that game anyway?
Well, one Friday evening, while we were having our ‘after school’ lessons at home, my brother decided to play this game while I was returning to my seat from the bathroom but unfortunately he couldn’t remove the pen fast enough. We tried to ‘contain’ the damage as much as we could. We decided not to tell our parents because we knew they were going to beat us silly and because as brothers we thought we needed to protect each other but eventually, my father found out because I began to walk like I had a volley ball between my legs after a few days. My brother got the beating of his life and I was taken to the hospital where I endured one of my most embarrassing medical moments. I was 8 years old and I was scarred for life. I still hate hospitals.
But that is not the story.
A few years after that I noticed my Dad would crack the door of our room open first thing in the morning and ‘spy’ at my groin area before closing the door back and I used to wonder why? Some other times, the man would open the bathroom door while I am about to have my morning bath, pretending he was looking for something and close it after a few moments but not before checking out my groin area. I didn’t understand why my father was acting weird until the day I overheard a conversation between him and my brother:
Dad: Segun, se oko aburo e ma n’le t’o ba ji laaro? [Does your brother have early morning erections?]
Segun: Â Haba! Daddy, of course!!!
Dad: Since he got injured down there a few years ago, I have been pretty worried about him. This is why I come to your room in the mornings sometimes to see if he has morning erections.
Segun: He is fine. Stop worrying.
I couldn’t help but smile where I was hiding. It was then I understood what I thought was weird behavior from my Dad. I came out of where I was eaves-dropping and pretended I didn’t hear a thing. They also acted like they weren’t talking about me.
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
This post is dedicated to my father. See it as a belated father’s day post.
Thank you Dad for all the love and care you showed us while we were growing up. If I could show my son half the love you showed us and people around you, then, I would have done well as a father.
Crayzee love!
By the way, this post was inspired by my son, your grandson, and his tiny morning erections.
22 Comments so far
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Awww That was very sweet! its my dads b-day today! so I feel were you are coming from!
haha…nice…u and ur brother are brave sha…someone played that’game’ with me…
Weird!
Aww, Father’s love.
Awww…I love my daddy tew!!!
Happy father’s day to your dad…such love!!!
Dude I couldnt contain my luagh when I got to the question. Mad hilarious. I am tempted to post the link on my facebook page. Much love to all the Great Fathers.
I didn’t even get to read it yet
Where HAVE YOU BEEN????
We’ve missed you ooh!
…that was such a sweet post!!…thank you for sharing and yes, honor and glory to great fathers out there in the world, mine included!…
lol…so weird yet so sweet
Father’s love, such beautiful thing. You and ur brother are courageous I must say. Long time though. Hope you and the family are well.
i dey vex, is there something we’re meant to learn from the story? no apologies for your absense sef, this kind man…anyhu, even if i know you never responds to your comments, i will still say, you & your brother & all the people in your school that played that game are children of the devil…we played it too but we used our thumbs instead…we apparently were alot wiser than you guys
Mrs O…happy birthday to your Dad. Give him a big hug for me.
Scribble me…Were we brave or stupid and reckless?
isha…abi?
No limit…how have u been?
Blackman…post on…how u dey?
Zena…I have missed u guys too. Work has been flogging me and I just couldn’t write anything.
Gnaija…much love my sis… been a minute.
Aloted…how r u doing?
Scoopsnija…The family is doing well, thank you dear. How ur side? Howz Scoop doing?
Baroque my brother, no vex…na work, how u dey? Are u around? Holla : tobicoker@yahoo.com
e yaaa, very funny post. Parents will always be parents.
missed you plenty though, how have you been?
awww….lol
Inlaw mi atata!! Where hast thou been? How’s sexy eyes? and his aburo?
Hehehe@ your dad, he must’ve been so worried. Such erekere with the pencil, i remember the same thing happened to a girl in primary school.
Have a great weekend:)
When I saw the title, I knew something was up.
Kudos to Dads who spied on us without letting on. It was real love but they couldnt really show it.
As Baroque said, we played the game too but with thumbs!
PS: Where have you been?
kiiikiiiiikiiiiikiiiiikiiiiiiiiiii (I just did my father laughter). Seeing the question your dad asked was so funny cuz you wrote it in Yoruba.
He really was a spy who loved you
Whaaaa? when did you come back? Welicome back James Bond.
I found this story ridiculously cute! Awww, your fada dey worry that his lil boy might have lost his ‘manhood’, that is enough to keep a man up at night, I can imagine.
How is our pikin doing na? I hope say all dey well on the home front.
great
you have a great dad
he used to worry about you
lol
Boys will always be boys.indeed that game of urs is SICK.Good thing a lot of u ‘grow up’.Na wah oh,i thot u had retired 4m blogging.Please apply for leave b4 u take off like that again.
This was ……lovely.Its funny how fathers xpress their love.When i wear fitted jeans to solemn places like church,my dad tells me police may catch me inside the church for indecent dressing.Can you imagine!
Fathers realy have funny ways of showing thier love!
I know cuz my Dad has funny ways too!
Where u det bros? U no dey frequent again!
well its so funny some of the things we do while growing we can onlt thank our dear parents for the love,care and guardians they gave us. nice piece man!
now we spend so much time trying to keep our own little seeds in check, forgetting that the Angels that kept us are still alive and well! Great job guys