Feb 11
Die Another Day
Segun and I grew up together in Makoko. You could say we were best friends. We learned many of life’s lessons and indulged in some of the most ridiculous foolishness together. If you came to my house back then and didn’t meet me at home, then you were sure to find me in Segun’s house and vice versa. We were a great team. Although our friendship was very competitive, as we always tried to outdo each other in almost everything- bicycle riding, gymnastics, academics, football, athletics, dating- but that could never stop us from celebrating each other’s successes. When we got into trouble, either together or individually- and we did a lot of times- we always could find a way out of it, together.
Our friendship could be said to have been ‘passed down’ because before we were, our fathers, were. Segun’s father [we call him Chief] and my Dad are best friends. We grew up listening to some of their escapades, many of which we never would have believed if we hadn’t heard it from both of them at different times. One such story was the one they told us about when my brother was born and they had to buy a ram for his christening. Neither of them had a car, so they took Chief’s motorcycle. After buying the ram, they decided it wasn’t necessary for my Dad to take the ram back home in a taxi, so what did they do? Chief rode the bike, my dad sat behind him holding one end of the rope that held the ram which had no choice but to run after them, bleating for dear life. Poor thing!
But this post is not about our fathers.
No.
It is about how Segun and I almost left this world to be with our fore fathers, on two separate occasions.
As I said earlier, Segun and I did everything together, well almost everything. We started dating together although I think I lost my virginity before him but if you asked him, he’d probably say he had sex months before me. That’s one of the few things we never could agree on.
Segun and I used to visit our girlfriends together. When either of us met a new girl and wanted to go see her for the first time, we went together. So when Segun told me he had met a new girl and wanted us to go see her together, the natural response was yes.
The girl, Bose, lived in the Eredua area of Makoko, a predominantly Ilaje community. If you knew the Ilajes then you would know they love living in ‘riverine’ areas; they are good swimmers and they also love to fish- not on a grand scale but they do a fantastic job using simple tools- nets, spears and their bare hands.
When Segun and I got to Bose’s street, as is our practice, especially when we are visiting a girl for the first time whose parents we know are very strict, we did what we always do- we walked up and down the street, on a reconnaissance mission, plotting how best to get the girl out of her house without arousing any suspicions from her parents. Eventually we settled on sending a little boy we saw playing on the street, who said he knew Bose, to go and tell her we were waiting outside her house. A few minutes passed and neither Bose nor the little boy showed up. I remember us joking about the boy going to tell Bose’s father that some people were waiting for her outside. But Segun said the boy wouldn’t do that after collecting his =N=20.00. He said there was honor amongst thieves.
Unfortunately, that was what happened exactly. The next thing we saw was this boy coming out of the house accompanied by four grown men all carrying fishermen spears or gaga as they call it. Then the boy pointed in our direction and said something to the men which we both couldn’t hear but immediately he finished what he was saying, we saw the men running towards our direction. We assumed they weren’t coming in to invite us in so we took to our heels and let our legs do the thinking for us. Both of us escaped unharmed but Segun ensured Bose paid the ‘price’ a few weeks later.
The second experience was even more dramatic. Segun and I had stolen his Mum’s car to attend a party that fateful day. We knew we were already in trouble for taking the car without permission, so, after the party, we decided to put the car to more fruitful use by visiting one girl Segun had been checking out at Otto Police Barracks, in Ebute Metta. We thought we might as well get good value for the punishment we were sure was waiting for us at home.
When we got inside the barracks, I stayed back in the car while Segun went to look for his girl, Scholastica. Thirty minutes on, Segun hadn’t returned to the car with Scholastica. The plan was for him to bring Scholastica, and one of her friends back to the car. I was getting pissed at him because I was sure he had forgotten about his promise of hooking me up with one of Scholastica’s friend. Fifteen minutes later, I decided to go in search of my friend. When I got to Scholastica’s block, I saw a crowd gathered around my friend. Had I known that the man holding Segun was Scholastica’s father, perhaps, I would have gone back quietly into the car. But I thought someone was trying to harass my friend so I ran to the spot to ‘rescue’ him. The following ensued when I got there.
Me: Segun, Whats happening?
Segun: I don’t know
Scholastica’s Father: You don’t know? You will know very soon. By the time I lock you up for a week, you will begin to know.
Then the man looked at me and asked, ‘are you together?’
Me: Yes, he is my friend. What did he do?
SF: ehn, so you came to destroy my daughter’s life together abi? This is how you Yoruba boys do. You go gi’am belle run abi? God don catch two of you.
Before I knew what was happening, he had asked one other man, a police officer, to hold me too.
Minutes later, after begging profusely, the man asked one of his officers to escort us out of the barracks. He warned us that the next time he catches us in the barracks, we wouldn’t be that lucky. He said he would shoot us ‘where we wouldn’t die’ so we would live with the consequences of our philandering for the rest of our lives.
The officer escorted us to Iddo Terminal [about half a kilometer from Otto] before he went back to the barracks. Segun and I stayed at Iddo for about an hour before going back to retrieve his Mom’s car. We had survived another ‘shave’ with death. We lived to die another day.
42 Comments so far
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Sounds like good clean fun, lol
Your experiences sound like something out of a book or movie
Thanks for the comment u left on my side
how did i know the “dying” was going to have something to do with babes?
u this 007, u really taking after the real 007 in everything!
Hahahhahahahahahah…omg, you guys are so lucky to be alive oh…yeee hahahaha..
Na God catch unna, pluckers of unripe fruit like you…
i like reading ur stories,escapades..etc….so i assume the “price” was maximum “caning”
superman-you went to save him……
Whats up with the non-English language?? maybe its my computer.
Anyway funny story..once my mum threatened to organize thugs to come beat my boyfriend at that time if he came to look for me in school…Sometimes i feel sorry for some boys sha
I really should start praying for you before (someone dies another…)
You’re warning me over Afro. Really, I hate to be pulled into any blog tussle. The best I can tell you is to BACK-OFF!!!!!!
I won’t repeat myself.
How body, anyway?
Zena…glad u r holding on fine.
Bumight…so you dey try talk say i be woman wrapper abi?
Afrolicious…forgive us, we were inexperienced harvesters at the time.
Mizcynic…Well…no be from my mouth u go hear am o.
Ibi…what was I thinking abi?
Femi B…things we do for ‘luv’
Hehehe. I think Miz-Cynic is right. You guys were naughty.
LOL!!!Thank God for your mother’s prayer…dem for don bundle you enter guard room…and those soldiers can be cayzee I tell ya!
Hiya!!!! Was realy nice to see your comment on my post. In case you haven’t noticed that is the first time you will be commenting on my blog.
I feel really honoured to have received a comment from the coolest chap on blogville.
You always get into trouble cos of girls.
Thank God you are settled now.
Howz bond girl?
LMAO. I’m about to start planning my own escapades too. I need a devoted buddy. hmmm…
Naijalines…my sista, we were young. Ok, we were naughty.
No Limit…The power of a praying Mother
Naijaleta…really? Are u sure I havent dropped a comment on ur blog before? Thats funny. Thanks for the compliment though.I am humbled.
Oluwadee..no be small thing o. Some casala wey i enter sef i no fit tell anyone. Thank God for my wife, if she no marry me when she did, my life for dey really complicated.
isha…believe me, u will need one. Take it easy though.
Aloofar…Now I see prayers alone won’t work. About backing off, that aint happening. Will recruit FBA in dealing with you, if need be.
Very funny story, now that should be in a book!
lol. Are you guys still hanging out?
becareful oh
lol. they certainly were not coming to give you a box of chocolates if the first lot were wielding spears
i have come out or hiding but have changed url and name, swing by when u can
Jarrai-gambian girl
crazy guys. una no sabi say barracks na dangerous place to go find girl? very funny. what did segun’s mum do to you guys for stealing her car?
LMAO @ Scholastica. You and Segun sha, una really enter serious wahala.
now i know why u need a lion cub! ur last two posts are living proof…lol
Hahaha…you men take a lot of risks. I remember my uncle back in the days used to put my grand’s mum car in neutral, push it far away before starting and zooming off.
LOL.
You know the funniest part to me?? The part of dragging the ram. Oh, my God!! That’s just wrong!! LOL. Hahahahahahaha
Scholastica sha….!!!
Kai! The risky things we guys do because of our girlfriends!
I remember when i took my dad’s car to go and pose for a friend and ended up brushing another car(was still an amateur driver then).
The car was parked at a police checkpoint. The policemen didnt waste time getting a hold of me…
You are too funny.
Lol. your stories are hilarious oh. You really get 007 moves sha.
Hey theres a story about you on Naijabloggersaward.blogspot.com
You shld also participate…its gonna be fun!
u have liver oh.looking 4 girlfriend in an army barrack.damning the consequnces like been shot from a window of her house.u r so brave.i hail u.we need more men like u;in the bravery aspect oh!
i like this story.tell us more escapades.you are not called blackjamesbond for nothing,abi)
buahahahahahaha..the ram! the poor ram!!! kai that one had me in tears..then the girls people with the spears…e no go betta for that small boy ooo! hehe…hilarious escapades!!! i haven’t endangered any boys life shaaaaa..even though they are scared silly of my dad
And this was a very long time ago.
I wonder what would happen when boys come to visit your girl (when you have one).
What would you do?
Tobenna…that is why I want to buy a lion to protect my daughter from guys like me[check- ‘Wanted: Lion Cub’]
Ice Queen…Don’t mind the aproko boy jare.
Shalewa…glad u like it. Keeping watching this space for more escapades.
African Weight Loss Diva… I try. Thanks for stopping by.
SSD…How the crew?
Afronuts…the crayzee things we do for love [and lust sometimes]
Vera…Scholastica is very sexy name. Dont u think so?
Parakeet…Ur uncle is a correct guy. Sharp man. Your sons will do the same. It is not a curse.
Smaragd… see my dilemma
Original…no be small thing o
Uzezi…we were not thinking with ours heads.
Word Merchant…hopefully, i will be able to do the same some day.
Jinta…thats what we thought too.
Darkelcee…We hang out whenever he comes home. He is in the States.
Angel…one day perhaps
hmmmmmmm, this is wow
Inlaw mi!!!
this sounds so familiar because i have eight brothers and i know what kind of mischief they are always up to. even now as grown ass men. good one. FIRST TIMER
bros,u’ve been tagged oh.on my blog.
oya come and update o, cuz i saw u at NDQ’s, ehen! plus, did u know that my name is not on ur *gasps* … blogroll?!!! a whole me and a half? i’m hurt!
how is baby?
pls dont tell me this thing has “eaten ” my comment again! aargh!
Just checking in….
Paging James Bond! Paging James Bond! I hope say everything dey okay on your end o.
LOL Really enjoyed that story.
wow…this is my first time here and i absolutely adore u.ive got a friend like that and even though im just a freshman in college i hope our friendship survives the tough times!