Dec 29
On the Floor
I will always remember Benjamin Anyaeji.
I will remember him because he was great, eccentric and weird. He was great because he was a fantastic principal- he brought order to Eko Boys High School and banished the spirit of Equatorial Boys High School[ a rogue and rebellious movement within Eko Boys High School] away from our school- a feat many thought was impossible.
He was eccentric for using all means necessary to ensure teachers attended their classes instead of gossiping in the staff room during class hours. There were times he chased them out of the staff room with his trade mark cane. That used to make us laugh. The teachers didn’t find it funny though and they ensured we didn’t laugh for long either.
I thought him weird because he had some sayings and practices which my young mind couldn’t understand back then. He would say “Mondays and Thursdays are for Jesus, Tuesdays and Fridays for Mohammed but Wednesdays are for Benjamin Anyaeji”. Thus we had Christian Devotion on Mondays and Thursdays and Moslem Devotion on Tuesdays and Fridays. Wednesdays, we had Benjamin Anyaeji. He spoke on several topics but I really can’t remember any of them save for this one day when he brought a pair of sun-glasses to the assembly ground and used them to speak on perspectives. I remember him saying that how we view life generally depends on what we view it through.
If you met him in those days, you were likely to remember three things about him:
The first was his voice. He had a commanding deep baritone voice.
The second was his accent- rich Igbo accent. I still mimic him till today.
The third thing was his trade-mark cane. He never went anywhere within the school compound without a cane. And by cane I do not mean a walking cane or stick. No. I am talking about those 6ft long devils that kiss you at that point on your back you could never reach even if you were the most flexible person on earth.
Benjamin Anyaeji was a disciplinarian. He didn’t suffer fools. If you got on his wrong side, he had just three words for you- “On the floor”- followed immediately by six strokes of his cane. If you made him say more than three words, then you got more strokes. I should have remembered this the day he caught me in some foolishness.
Let me tell you the story.
Do you remember WWF’s Wrestlemania? If you were like me, in those days, you would have been nuts about WWF’s Wrestlemania too. Most kids my age were. We were crazy about Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Ultimate Warrior; The Hart Foundation… the list goes on. However, while many left their love for wrestling at home, I took mine with me to school. I was Hulk Hogan. I wanted to be Hulk Hogan. I walked like him, moved like him and even fought like him whenever Hassan [my classmate] and I role-played during break time. And I was always beating Hassan, irrespective of whom he chose to play and that felt good until Hulk Hogan lost to Ultmate Warrior in Wrestlemania VI.
Hassan had ‘challenged’ me before break time that fateful day but I was a bit reluctant to fight him because he wanted to be Ultimate Warrior that day and since Hulk Hogan had just lost to the Ultimate Warrior in real life, and because I knew the class would not expect anything different and I wasn’t ready to lose just yet. When eventually I agreed to fight, I told myself I was going to delay the ‘defeat’ as long as I could.
The fight started during break time with the usual pomp and pageantry of a typical Wrestlemania match. The ‘announcer’ first introduced the challenger and then the champion-me. Naturally, I took my time to come out, acting like the Hulkster, with my hand to my ears when the people were shouting Hulk Hogan’s theme song- the Real American.
Ten minutes into the match, Hassan and I had exhausted all our moves and everybody was now waiting for the final move that would end the match. But I wasn’t ready to give in just yet. Hassan [Ultimate Warrior] made his trademark winning move and the referee started the count out but before he got to three, I started the usual Hulk Hogan come back move. Hassan started to hit me but like the Hulkster used to act whenever he was about to change the mood of a match, I started to act like I couldn’t feel the impact of the punches. At that point the class went crazy. Break time was over but nobody seemed to mind. The noise attracted people from other classes but it also attracted Ben Anyaeji.
Hassan and I didn’t know when Ben Anyaeji got to our class room window but we knew something was wrong when the classroom went deadly quiet all of a sudden.
Ben Anyaeji: On the floor
Me: Sorry Sir
Ben Anyaeji: [With very rich Igbo accent] Am not your father o. Your mates are married in the village and you are here wasting time. On the floor!
That day, I landed on the floor and stayed there longer than I should. For the countless number of strokes I got that day, I would never ever forget Benjamin Anyaeji.
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Aww…sorry “hulk hogan”…I’m trying hard not to laugh ‘cos it must have been very paibnful!!!…ermmm but…muhahahaha(lol)!!!
Happy new year!
interesting…the things that make us remember certain ppl.
Had a teacher like that once.
lmao!!!!
that was very entertaining..hehe!
Ouch I can feel the pain….those cains were from a different world oh..
I remember being thrashed by my mum for doing a Hulk Hogan on my brother…it was role playing but I got carried away and flung him from the couch then jumped on him…..lol…got to go call him and remind him…I doubt he wants his girlfriends to know that story…..
Happy New year love…
Happy new year my bruv
i remembered Wrestlemania too. what is the name of this guy that sleeps in a coffin and neva lost?
kai your hulk horgan was sure defeated by mr ben.
How is the family? take care!
my brothers loved wrestlemania…….
i can imagine how painful the cane strokes were…..eh ya
Have a great new year
That student abuse o.
i laughed all through this post, cos i really remember all those hulk moves u wrote about. the hands to the ears when he is introduced, the acts as though he doesnt feel the pain while he’s been punched.
u r something.
compliments.
LOL, wrestling sucks now, but i used to love Hulk Hogan sha! Happy New Year! My love to sexy eyes…
Hahahaha…we had plenty of Benjamin Anyaejis in those days. We’re better people now because of the likes of them.
Happy new year to you and may you have plenty of joy and fulfillment this year and always.
Awwwww,
I’m really sorry, lol Boys will always be boys tho
Happy New-Year
Kai, sorry mehn!
Happy New Year to you and yours though!
i reallly remeber those hulk stunts with the yellow pants and long hair. Being a girl it was totallly out of it for me.
BUT REALLY HULK WAS A CHAMPION EVEN IN HIS LATTER YEARS.
For mr anyaeji,i reallly feel him!!!!!
much love. Happpy new year!!
See what Hulk horgan caused u.
happy new year!
Nice one!! It did you some good, though. Look how you turned out.
That was very funny. I remember watching wrestlemania with an avid passion!
I guess your hulk hogan moves found their Ultimate Warrior at the end: The Cane!
Ultimate warrior and Hulk Hogan. I remember them.
That your principal harsh oh. And yes, I can relate to his character.
DO they still make them like that now?
pele oh, lol. btw did u try ur hulk hogan moves after that day?
History in multicolor!
I love these old reminicences. Reminds me of when i was a brat in school too.
How u dey now? Hows your little baby boy doing? I’m gonna be joining the club soon.
Happy Nu year 007!!
LOL.
Eyaa poor Hulk Hogan. Hahahaha.
i don’t know d Ben man, but am loving him already!!!!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, congrats. God is Good!!!
How’s my sexy eyes adjusting???
Wrestlemania…
Pity I don’t have the time again.
That Ben man did a good job, bro
This would be the 3rd time I will be reading stuff about Ben Anyaeji this week. A book about him (biography) was launched over the hols and someone brought a copy to the service on Sunday. On Monday, someone wanted to remember the name of the ‘Man at Eko Boys’ and asked me of all people and now Black 007.
Ben obviously did something right in his lifetime.
Haha! This post brought back so many memories for me from my secondary school days…we never forget the Mr.Benjamins of the world do we? Lovely post with just the right dash of humor, as always.
Happy New Year:-)
Very funny. Such an eccentric principal. I wish I had one. Wait, I kinda think you eccentric too. Was it a pass-down from your principal?
But by far the most important thing about Ben Anyaeji was his profound love for God as manifested by his support of and help in the propagation of ECKANKAR.
To this day his lasting contribution in this area can be witnessed in both Nigeria and amongst Nigerians in the diaspora.