Sep 11
X- Files: Chance and Time
The silence in the room was deafening. He wished he could teleport himself right out of there to another point in time when he was still the honorable man everyone thought he was. Now, for the first time in 10 years that he had been married, he was going to need people’s help and intervention to settle a marital dispute and perhaps save his marriage. The relationship he had with his wife had always been a very cordial and close one. When they had disputes, they spoke about it and settled it immediately. But this particular situation needed a lot more than that.
How did he get himself into such a mess?
He sat in his favorite chair but everyone could see that he was not at ease at all. To his right were his Pastor and one of the Deacons from the Church. His Mum and Mother-In-Law sat together right opposite him. Modupe, his wife, sat to their left. They were all seated in his living room waiting for the Olori Ebi [Head of the Family] to come out of the bathroom and start the proceedings. He was taking too long.
When he finally appeared, everyone stood up, out of respect and allowed him to sit before taking their seats.
“Good afternoon everyone”, said Olori Ebi.
“The reason we are here today is to prevent a good thing from turning bad and address an indiscretion which is threatening the stability of the home of our children”
As Olori Ebi made that statement, Bayo’s mind went back to the day he wishes he could relive.
He had met Mope at work where she had come to sell a proposal to him. After her presentation, they had exchanged call cards and that was how their friendship started.
She would call to follow up on the proposal but after a while their conversation drifted into more personal issues. Then they started chatting on instant messenger and facebook and that was when the relationship took a dangerous turn.
He had seen one of her photos on facebook and had commented on how sexy she was looking. That singular comment and her response led to a lot of cyber conversations which he wouldn’t want anyone to read.
Lunch was the natural progression. They met for lunch a couple of times before deciding to take the relationship to another level.
They had everything well planned. They were going to take the day off and head off to Ife, from Lagos, spend the whole day together and return to Lagos the same day.
That morning he had told his wife he had an early morning meeting and he needed to leave home earlier than usual. At work, he had told his boss the day before that he had a family emergency to sort out. For someone who had never missed a day of work, his excuse was believable and his boss granted him the day off.
Everything had gone according to plan.
They had gotten to Ife as scheduled. Having spent 5 years in Ife as an undergrad, he knew all the ‘kurukere’[Runs] Guest Houses they could go to without running into anyone he knew. As an extra precautionary measure, he had rented a car from AVIS instead of taking his own car. He hadn’t taken anything for granted. Once they were in their room, he immediately put his phone on silence and got down to business. He didn’t want any disturbances. That was his undoing.
If he had heard his phone ring, he would have spoken with his wife and found out that his wife Modupe, who works for an NGO had been told to accompany some Poultry farmers to Ife to learn about some feed preparation techniques from their counterparts in Ife.
But he didn’t hear his phone ring and there was no way he could have known he was going to walk out of the hotel and walk right into his wife.
Olori Ebi: Bayo! Bayo!!
He was so deep in thought that he didn’t hear Olori ebi call out his name.
Bayo: Yes Sir!
Olori Ebi: “You have wronged this woman deeply but she is willing to forgive you because of the love you have shared this past 10 years and also for the sake of the children”
So what do you have to say to her?
Bayo: Modupe, mo de sa fun e to o. { Modupe, I still can’t believe you caught me after all the precautions I took]
64 Comments so far
Leave a comment
First…brb…
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL…and that was the FIRST thing he could say? I dare say he complicated matters even more than before…lol. He didn’t even ask for forgiveness…
LOL…Modupe, mo de sa fun e to o…ehen…that is what came to his mind……see why under G moves are baaaad…when God wants to expose you…no amount of planning will do
lollllllllllllllllllllllll Haba Bayo!!! ori’ e
Lmaooo@ his reply, buhahahahahaaha idiot!
That would prolly vex the iyawo more, ridiculous.
Inlaw mi atata, how’s my baby?
ehn…mo de sa fun e to o? wat a reply! she should just up and leave unless he got sumtin on her…is there a part 2?
Hahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa….If I were Modupe I would have bursted into laughter..imagine the goat…lmao…
Bayou shey nkan ti o ye ki o so ni yen ninu gbogbo oro ti o wa ni ile yi.
Hahahahahahah…that yeye man, modupeh should leave him..
Olodo!!!
LMAO!!
That was the last thing I expected him to say!!
That was really funny..lol..
Oh my god!!
Bayo needs to be disposed of… Immediately.
I bet you he is an engineer! Annoying type those ones.
Glad to see you back and in force.
LMAO!!! oh my days! I don’t believe he said that! lol..
I guess he can’t get over the fact that he had been caught, his bad luck.. lol.. this is too funny!
@Jaycee, the man can’t remember the word forgiveness He was in shock! lol.. quite funny. I can picture this in a naija movie scene.. with the man putting his fingers in his mouth going .. yeeeoh.. Modupe, mo de sa fun e to o… aye mire (this is my life oh) Lol..
Just want to claim my spot.
Oga, how now? I am listening to fela right now and thought of you so came through for an update….
NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE…
That is all he could say? WHAT????
And, may I just say that Facebook, and IM are the product of the devil!!!!! hahaha, well, I am on Fb sha, but I sprinkled the thing with Holy water from my father’s village to clear all the demons from the thing.
If anybody wants some specially annointed holy water for their FB and other internet usage, just Kontactr me. lawl!!! For real!
You are kidding me? that was the first thing he uttered? OGA for bayo!! but you know, if it was the woman that was doing Kurukere moves - would the family have had a meeting for her husband to forgive her? Shio!!
Men, that meeting reads like ours expect the extra marital affairs. Our Olori Ebi will take his sweet time before the family meeting begins.
LOL. I actually laughed out loud. I can’t believe that was his response. Lol. If they do get back together, she should ‘punish’ him.
Black007, mo ma ti miss yin…
Mr 007, you finally updated!
It’s funny I’m watching Oprah now and the ‘expert’ just said 1 out of every 3 men cheat!I digress…
How is the son? Still rhyming away?
stupid guy, how can you, for such an operation, put your phone on silence???…wrong move!…well, lesson learnt
I swear if I was his wife I would have been so amused I’d have forgiven him….at least we know he is no die hard cheat….
You’ve been missed o…look at that closing remark naa…only 007 can pull that off. Hahahaha!
Wow all that trouble and he still got caught. I actually first read this story as he meeting his wife in the hotel..yeah i have A.d.d. I would have been so pissed at that statement men, very interesting story oh…sure it happens all the time… both ways.
hehehehe..first time here and i enjoyed this story..hehehe
am sure he was more annoyed with himself for getting caught than any other thing…some men sha!!!!
lmao. r u fucking kidding me! lawd have mercy. daz rich mehn.
lmfao!
unbelievable fuckery!
good for the randy pig! and to think he was more upset at being caught than he was about his offense. punkass
that Modupe get winsh!lol
and have u been learning ur rhymes? i’ve put up three now o, even twinkle twinkle little star in big grammar!lol
LMAO!!! Ode, Oponu!, instead ko ma be ebe, and then blame it on the devil like they all do… LOL!
Loved it as usual.
Ef babe
i cant believe that was the first thing he said! I dont think Bayo was repentant. i bet he expected his wife to forgive him. schew!
@ baroque: i see everyone is picking their own lessons out of this!
Bumight or should I say Bumtight..naaah..i prefer bumight…sounds better. Whattagwan? Howz the personality poll coming up? Will be back at urs to tell you what I think.
Ef babe…Na the thg wey he wan chop no make am wise.
Smaragd… hmmm…I gave up on the rhymes way back…too many to learn. How u dey?
FFF…howz married life treating u? Its been a while. Need to go check what you have been up to.
Aloted…thanks for stopping by.
Femi…many married men will say that Bayo’s fault is that he got caught.
Parakeet…wassup? I have missed you guys too but work has been quite hectic. Been doing my blog rounds though. How body?
Afrobabe…really? How come I find that really difficult to believe…most naija women I know will prolly break the guy’s head.
Baroque…lesson learnt? I no dey o. Meanwhile, wey my beer naa.
NDQ…1 outta 3…impressive…we are not doing badly…thats like saying 65% of men dont cheat…not bad. I kid. My son is still rhyming away o…he’ll be two on Monday…will post some of his photos soon.
isha…Punish? Whatever happened to total forgiveness? How have u been? E don tay wey I reach ur side o…I trust u will forgive me, totally.
Allied… I think one important prerequisite for being Olori Ebi is to know how to take one’s time, even if you are as fit as a fiddle. Whattagwan? Just got an idea Can you do a sequel to this story? It would be nice to see where you would take it.
SSD..Fela ke? What’s the correlation? And this ur holy water, we fit package and brand am?
Remi…good idea, abeg make I go sell this story give one yoruba producer…lol
Ms Sula, wetin engineers do you?
Mocha…lol…maybe he was still in shock
Jarrai… yeye man truly. Howz the forgiveness lessons coming up?
30+ …o ba labo ni.
Toluwa, there is no part 2, at least not from me. I am hoping someone else could do that. I have asked Allied but I dont know if she would just yet. Will ya?
Omosewa…My lovely In law…how have u been? Your baby will be 2 on Monday. Will post some his his photos soon.
Lg…Glad u liked it.
Shubby Doo…Under G no be correct thg…it always backfires…sooner or later.
Jaycee… Bayo goofed big time…God help him. God help us all.
Okay, me thinks there’s a part 2 coming. Isn’t that so?
buahahahahah!!! i cannot believe that’s what he said!! lmao seriously here…buh it’s rather honest shaaa! because everybody in that situation would be thinkin the same thing..but to go ahead and say it? *dissolves into uncontrollable laughter*..chaiii..facebook na devil o!
thats was so funny. stupid man. he deserves to be thrashed. still laughing.
LMAO….
that responst is almost better than “it wasn’t me”
Wao the response from him was shocking one would have expected him to have apologised at least well the wife should forgive him but punish him for now , yes most guys cheat on their wives , BUT HAVE WE BOTHERED TO FIND OUT WHY
I will take the challenge… though, i can’t think of anything but for Modupe to stab Bayo in the heart. Ok, i am joking - but a serious igbati, igarun will be suitable sha.
Allied…Thanks! I agree..a serious slap wouldnt be a bad idea
Thierry…Why do men cheat on their wives? A lot of reasons am sure…but none can be good enough. My opinion.
An Ibo dude…That would have been a good ending too…the man for deny hin wife straightaway. That would have been interesting.
The Ice Queen…Which kain honesty be that?
Ahmed…Allied has agreed to do the second part…so keep checking her space.
LMAO!!!Ohhhh lawwd this was a classic…and he does deserve to be forgiven…he just said what was on his mind @ that moment..i would have laughed!!!once more thanx for the laugh having a lousy Monday!!
“Bayo: Modupe, mo de sa fun e to o. { Modupe, I still can’t believe you caught me after all the precautions I took]”
Ouch. I bet after he did Modupe respected him more. Thats a bad …
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! D eye wey I for use take look dat man,he would have slapped himself,of all friggin things to say,lawl
excellent and funny write up, thx for updating
Baba were ni bobo to nje Bayo yen sha!(the Guy called Bayo is crazeee!) in fact he should be titled “Sir Were”…oku igbe ara e…shey you can see man’s discrimintion to woman in full fledge!…kai make i stop beforei get all “emotional”
See? Shona agress with me…I would have been to amused to remain angry…
Great ending!
LOL @ Bayo’s response.
But b4 I crucify him, I think he has a point coming. From what you wrote, he’s sorry for what he did and wishes he didn’t do it, so perhaps, he’s thinking, “I still can’t believe you caught me…. it just goes to show that man proposes and God disposes… blah blah blah…”
Nice one, 007. Me likes
Well told story masterfully closed. Did not see that end. What is with all the deacon, pastor and Olori Ebi dem barging in like that, as if dem no get their own ish.
stupid man!!!
what the hell did he say??
for real???????
i go just shoot am if na me…..
What a dumbass…
No! He didn’t say that…
The guy should be shot.
The sequel is up. Though not as good as urs
hey, u hvnt stopped by mine in ages!
kai, she suppose sack this guy, sharp sharp!
Yeye man…so that’s all he could say? I guess he was embarrassed with all those people there at the family meeting. Ingenious handling of an ending to a story which flowed effortlessly. Part two perhaps?
Wow! love this, first time here.
…guy, put your nyash for chair, wither na, take one beer for my head…
the beer dey chill, anytime you ready!
Just read Allied’s follow up to this wonderful story…
NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE…
So, it has come to the point where you blog once in a month?
I guess you have your hands full..
Well done on a fantastic tale and a crazy last line
Ediot!
He isn’t even sorry 4 his actions.
Off to read allied’s post.
Black 007,
It is time for you to update oooh!
super cool stuff
Hehehe Cracking response. Modupe go just weak after that one. I can’t stand those Naija style “dispute resolution committees”. You know the whole world’s going to hear your dirty laundry
ah ah, u never update reach now??? wetin dey hold na?
“Ruffin’ It” is launched. If u haven’t been there, follow my link …
Oga Sir. Eyin da?
lol…na wa oh!that! i didnt expect!lolll
Oh boy…..The guy try now! But it was written so nuthing the brother could do!!