OK…so Gnaija wan fall my hand for blogville ehn? No lele. Will try to keep this as concise and  honest as possible without completely opening my behind for y’all.

 …here are the rules:

…1. …link the person who tagged you…
…2. …mention the rules in your blog…
…3. …tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours…
…4. …tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
…5. …leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged…

So here we go…

1. If its possible, i would wear a new shirt everyday of my life. Whenever the laundry guy doesnt turn up with my laundry on time, its always an excuse to buy a new shirt. Wifey doesnt like it much.

2. When i am not going to the office, I never brush my teeth before breakfast, and sometimes lunch.

3. Like Gnaija, i also find my self mimicking people a lot. I remember i heard ‘Fadeyi Oloro’ say ‘Igbin’ [Snail] during the hugely popular show ‘Arelu’ [cant even remember why he said it now]but i absolutely loved the way he said it that i started calling everyone around me ‘Igbin’. That later became my nickname and i recall i founded a grass root soccer team and named it Igbin FC. We went on to win a few inter- street football competitions. Igbin? What was i thinking? Ko tush rara[not hip at all].

4. I hate cutting my nails my self. So when wifey doesnt help out i end up having very long finger and toe nails. My toe nails would gross u out.

5. My face used to be perfectly symmetrical until my roommate in school damaged the right side of my face. Check out my post- Me and My Big Mouth- to find out how that happened. Dont worry, the difference is hardly noticeable although i see it everytime i look into a mirror or whenever i try to use sun shades- they dont quite sit properly on my face.

6.  When i am standing, i would need to hold my tummy in to be able to see my belt.

Ok thats it. Gnaija, happy now? The following bloggers are hereby tagged:

NIMMO, Naapali, Omosewa, Tobenna, Ibiluv & Unnaked

Before i run off, let me tell you abt something i saw on Wednesday that made me laugh a bit.

 I was on my way to visit some family friends when i came across a party tent in the middle of one of the streets. My first reaction was :Lagosians have come again with their parties, can’t they wait until weekend before they start blocking streets off? When i got closer, i noticed it wasn’t really a party. It was a meeting of some sorts. I noticed there was a banner tied to one of the sides of the tent[canopy as we call it here in gidi] and being a curious one, i wanted to know who was responsible for blocking the street on such a day.

It was actually my reaction to what i saw on the banner that made me laugh. The banner read: The National Association of Automotive Technicians [a.k.a Mechanics] . The moment i read the banner i quickly quoted two bible passages:

The first:

1. Surely they will gather…but not by me saith the Lord.

The second

2. No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper.

 Don’t blame me jare…mechanics don show me for Lagos no be small.

Ok, gats to run now. See ya! 

34 comments

  December 12, 2000 Lagos

Pastor! Pastor!! Not now, Richard said under his breath. That was the last name he expected anyone to call him now. He had never felt comfortable being called a ‘Pastor’ before then and that title even felt more out of place now. In fact, it sounded as though whoever was calling him knew what he had done and was trying to mock him by calling him ‘Pastor’. He looked in the direction the sound was coming and saw one of his Mom’s friends, Mama Nkechi.

Richard:                      Good afternoon Ma

Mama Nkechi:             Good afternoon my son. How is your mother? Is she at home?

Richard:                      No Ma, she’s traveled

Mama Nkechi:             Oh Ok. Anyway, let her know I asked after her when she returns. By the way, sorry if I am intruding but you don’t look your cheerful self. You look worried. Is everything ok?

Richard:                     I’m alright Ma. Just a little tired [trying to force a smile]

Mama Nkechi:            Ok o, whatever it is, just take it easy. Bye and help me greet your Mum when she gets back.

Richard:                     Bye Ma

Was he looking that crestfallen? He had never been one to wear his emotions on his face but what he felt now he had never felt before and he was having a difficult time dealing with it. He knew he needed to get back home and into his room very quickly. He didn’t want to fall apart on the street, in public glare.

Walking Veronica home after what they had done was very difficult. For the first time since they started relating as friends, that was the only time they walked the stretch between their homes without speaking to each other. Vee had tried to get him to talk afterwards but he was too guilt stricken to say anything. He didn’t even know what to say and not because he was angry at her but because he was too disappointed in himself to say anything. He couldn’t even look into her eyes. When she realized he wasn’t going to say anything, she announced she was leaving and he had walked her home as he had done everyday for the past three weeks.

Back at home, Richard sat on the floor in the corner of his room, as far away from the bed as he possibly could. The bed represented and summed up everything he wished he could undo. He had ‘fallen’ on that bed. But even as he said that in his mind, he knew that wasn’t true. He had fallen long before he ‘fell’ on that bed. He had started to fall when he entertained and dwelled on lewd thoughts of himself and Veronica; when he began to spend more time in front of the TV watching erotic music videos and movies laced with more sex than healthy, instead of spending time praying and meditating on God’s Word.

Since he got back from school after his final exams, his life had taken quite a turn. Back in school, he spent most of his time in fellowship or class. He also had a group of friends- The Fold- with whom he met constantly to pray and discuss God’s Word. But at home, the only Christian buddy he had was Veronica. When he wasn’t watching TV or sleeping, he was with Veronica. But even with her, their conversations hardly touched on the spiritual. They talked about everything except spiritual matters. The fact that he hadn’t decided which Church to join at home also didn’t help matters.

When he was leaving school, he had promised to keep his distance from Vee and having discussed her with Kemi, his Pastor friend, he was sure Vee would like her and Kemi would find it easier to disciple her. Unfortunately, Kemi had to stay back in school because of her project and her flock.

He remembered how he struggled for the first 48hrs after he got home not to go see Veronica. On the third day, he had woken up very early as usual, had his ‘quiet time’, [which was getting shorter with each passing day] and headed straight for the video club to rent a fresh batch of movies for the day. He wanted to stay occupied so he wouldn’t have to think of Veronica but all the movies did was to remind him of her. Eventually he succumbed to the urge and went to her house but not before he had ‘convinced’ himself the reason he was going to see her was that it was important he found out how she was doing and what he could do to help her with her Christian walk. Who was he kidding?

From then on, they spent almost all their waking moments together. They went to the video club in the morning, watched movies all day and spent the evenings talking about everything and nothing.

After a while, they became so comfortable in each other’s company that they began to hold hands when they walked and hug every night just before they both leave for their homes.

The hug had lingered longer than the usual earlier that evening. They were both in Richard’s room when he told her he was leaving for school the following day to pick up his NYSC call up letter and that he was going to leave for the NYSC camp from school. Vee was upset that he hadn’t told her he was traveling before that evening but his excuse that he didn’t know about the letter until a day before was enough to calm her down.

He had apologized again just to be sure she was no longer angry and when he was certain everything was alright again, they continued with the movie they were watching. When the movie was over, she said she was leaving but when she was about to walk out the door, she stopped, turned back and looked straight into his eyes. In that split second, when their eyes met, Richard had a premonition something was going to happen between them that evening. He knew it was time to be strong but he wasn’t quite sure if he could.

She had held out her hands towards him and intuitively, he had taken them and pulled her to himself. They had hugged for what seemed an eternity, each telling the other how much they were going to miss themselves. When they finally pulled apart, it was only momentarily, because their lips came together, as if choreographed, and they kissed with an intensity that sent them further into the depths of ecstasy and into the place of no return.

When he came to, they were both lying naked on his bed, their lust satisfied. The remorse had kicked-in in full swing and he felt a blanket of guilt fall upon him. He could feel her eyes searching his face, trying to make out what he was feeling. He felt terrible. He felt his heart breaking, his walls falling. All he had built in five years had slipped from him in five minutes of weakness.

In an attempt to get him to say something, she started to say something about the dream she had mentioned in the letter she wrote him in school and how what happened was related to that dream but that only made him remember a dream he had had two years earlier. Oh God! He cried out loud. The Lord had tried to warn him but he had forgotten completely.

As he sat in his room that evening, he contemplated what he was going to do next and where he was going to start from. It was getting dark but he didn’t bother to put on the light. He knew he needed more than a physical light to illuminate the darkness he felt inside.

He went on his knees and started to do what he knew how to do best-pray. But he couldn’t find the right words to use. So instead of praying, he started to cry and weep before the Lord. He cried for a long time until sleep enveloped him.

He had another dream. It was a beautiful one. He didn’t quite remember every part of the dream but he remembered that someone had told him in the dream that everything was going to be alright.

He believed him.

44 comments

  [September 1999, Ibadan]

He stepped out of the Office of the PA to the Dean after thanking the man for the umpteenth time. This was the second time he was entering that office in almost 6 years. The first was when he had come to Ibadan to check if he had been admitted into the faculty. It seemed like eons ago. He had left that office then as excited as he was leaving it now too, albeit for different reasons. Then, his excitement had been because he had just confirmed his admission to the university. He had been happy because finally, for the first time in his life, he was going to be on his own, free to do as he pleased & free to ‘chase’ all those hot university babes he had heard so much about.

However, now, his excitement stemmed from the letter he was holding in his hands. He held it firmly, as though someonwas going to snatch it off him, and yet delicately, as if the words were going to fall off the envelope.   

He knew who the letter was from. He didn’t have to open it to figure that out. The writing on the envelope was distinctively Veronica’s; graceful and beautiful just like the writer. He had known her as a child and a tomboyish ‘tween’. When he went home during the last school break and saw her, he couldn’t believe how much she had changed. The last time he saw her before then, she was still the innocent looking, ‘sendless’ teenager who didn’t quite care about how she looked. She had burst unannounced, in her pajamas, into a room where her brother, Femi, [who is Richard’s friend], and Richard were playing a game of chess. The angry look she got from her brother sent her running out of the room the same way she came in.

But the Veronica that Richard saw the last time around was a different one. She had grown from freckled faced, skinny and clumsy teenager to banging hot diva. Richard had to consciously force himself from thinking about her like that. Before then, she had always been the prime tease target for Femi and his friends. They teased her about everything; her looks, her scrawny legs and pimpled face. However, when he saw her, he knew he couldn’t tease her no more; instead he ogled, for what seemed like an eternity and ended up complimenting her looks. He noticed she ‘blushed’ in embarrassment and quickly made her exit from where he was. He had always suspected that Veronica had a crush on him but he was almost certain she had outgrown it. He decided not to dwell too much on what he saw. She couldn’t still be all ‘crushed’ up on him, he told himself.

He made several visits to Femi’s house during the break, but his intention was not always to see Femi. He always looked for an excuse to chat with Veronica. He was even more pleased when he found out that she had given her life to Christ. The fact that they had something in common brought them closer and the relationship grew from mere mutual attraction to a discipler- disciple one, visible to all to see, although underneath that ran emotions which both of them struggled to keep in check and hide from each other and from people around them as well.

By the time he was leaving for school, they had grown so close to the point that Veronica started to share things about her with him she had never shared with anyone before- her first and only relationship, how it started, how it ended, how she lost her virginity, the pains, the heartbreak when it was over…everything. Gradually, their conversations moved from the spiritual and soulful to the sensual and erotic. She told him in details how she lost her virginity, the various ‘sexcapades’ she had with her ex and how despite the fact that she is now a Christian, she sometimes misses those times and wishes she could experience those times again. He knew he ought to have stopped her from talking like that but he found out, much to his dismay, that he was enjoying such talk. Most of the conversations left him putting his hands in his pocket, not to bring out anything but to hide the bulge in his pants and hold his member in check. He knew they were tottering on the brink of spiritual disaster but thankfully nothing happened and he managed to get back to school in one piece, undefiled. 

He looked at his watch and realized he had about 40mins before his next class, his Supervisor’s class. But he knew for him to get a seat in a place where the lecturer could easily spot him, he had to be in class at least 20mins early. Not that he was particularly interested in the course but like most final year students, he had learnt to manage his perception, especially where his supervisor was concerned. A positive perception could be the difference between a 2′ or a 2². He knew his father expected nothing less than a 2′ and he wasn’t going to disappoint him. But before then, he had to find a quiet place to read Veronica’s letter. He finally settled for the student’s cafeteria. At that time of the day, the café was always deserted as most students would have gone for their classes. He ordered a drink and settled in a corner of the café to devour the letter.

Dear Richard,

I am not going to tell you how many different openings I had tried for this letter and how none of them seemed right until I finally gave up and decided to start anyhow. How are you doing? Hope your project is coming up alright?

Hmmm, so what do I start with? OK! I passed my JAMB, finally! …did I hear you clap? Thank you. Yeah! I know you would be proud of me. I am proud of me too [laughs]. Thanks for all the encouragement. I was beginning to think maybe I wasn’t destined to go to the university but thank God, I made it, after 2 attempts. Phew!

But that’s not the only reason why you would be proud of me. I know you have been harassing me to join a unit in Church and get more involved in God’s work. Well, I did. I am now a bona fide member of choir. It’s a little hectic with all the rehearsals and all but I am beginning to get used to it and enjoy it.

Guess who came around last week? Lekan, my ex-boyfriend. Can you imagine? After all he did to me; he had the guts to ask me to give him another chance. I told him I had given my life to Christ and that there was someone else.

Richard’s heart skipped a beat! He hoped she wasn’t referring to him. He liked her but he knew what she needs is a more grounded faith walk and not any thing like a relationship that could distract her. Moreover, she is like a sister to him and he knew he couldn’t date her even if he wanted to. He didn’t want to date her…he tried to convince himself.

Anyways, I think he got the point as he hasn’t visited since that day.

So when are you coming home? I have missed you so much. I had a funny dream about both of us but I am too embarrassed to share it with you now. Maybe I will when next we see. Anyways, come home soon. My friends keep asking me to go partying with them all the time but I have resisted them although I am not sure how much longer I can hold them off. Please come home quickly. At least I know with you around, I will have someone to spend my time with and wouldn’t be tempted in any way to do anything bad. I can’t wait to see you again. I have many things to tell you.

Till we see, don’t do what I wouldn’t do and don’t do what you wouldn’t be able to tell me…isn’t that what you always tell me?

Yours,

Vee

PS: I have been a good girl…there is nothing I have done that I can’t tell you. It’s been difficult though. But I will hold on and I trust God to help me out.

Bye again.

Richard read the letter again the second time, and then a third. He was happy, sad and confused at the same time. He was happy that she had passed her JAMB, at last, and that she had joined the choir but he felt depressed that she didn’t sound as strong as he would have wanted her to be. He didn’t like the fact that she needed him around to stay focused on her faith. He didn’t appreciate that at all.

He knew he had to correct that but he wasn’t so sure he could do it anymore. He was beginning to have feelings for this girl and he wasn’t quite sure if they were genuine or born out of lust, especially after she told him about her sexual experiences. Since the day she told him, he had seen images of both of them making hot passionate love together in his mind and it was becoming more difficult to keep those images out now.

He also thought about the dream she said she had about both of them. Was she having the same problems? He hoped not. ‘God, help me…what am I going to do?’ was all the prayers he could voice.  

As he stood up to leave for his next class, he saw Kemi, one of his classmates and it suddenly occurred to him that God had sent him help. Kemi, was one of the pastors of a major fellowship on campus and she lived in the same area back in Lagos as Richard. He knew how passionate she was about young female converts and he was sure she wouldn’t say no if he asked her to disciple Veronica for him.

He would introduce Kemi to Veronica and he was sure they would hit it off straightaway.

Thank God! He said. He didn’t have to see her as much again. He could now focus on getting his spiritual life back on track.

Kemi! Kemi!!

34 comments